Wednesday, May 13, 2009

New Motivation

Well, I wasn't a die-hard Biggest Loser follower this season, but I did enjoy checking in on it once in a while, especially toward the end.  Watching tonight's finale was amazing!  Especially seeing all of these heavy-set woman develop these gorgeous, fit yet feminine bodies gave me a little boost in my own weight loss journey.  

My whole life I have felt like a fat person.  While I have never been one of those naturally skinny people, up until I was about 18 I was not what I would now consider "fat."  However, I always felt like this huge, disgusting person.  Remembering how I felt while looking back at pictures of what I really looked like kind of makes me sad.  Maybe if I had felt a little better about myself back then, I wouldn't have let myself turn into the overweight woman I am now.  I literally now look the way I felt back then.  I guess since I always just felt that I was fat anyway, I let myself believe that it didn't really matter what I ate or how lazy I was, I was already fat, right?  Then the pounds just kept coming over the last 6 years.  But now I realize the damage I have been doing to my body, my emotions, my confidence.  I am determined to undo all this!

So while it may not come as fast or as obvious as I would like, I figure as long as I am working out 5-6 days a week and making smart eating choices throughout the day, then I am improving my health.  

So here's to getting back on, and staying on track!

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2 comments:

Courtney said...

You almost made me cry! You are so beautiful, you don't even know! But I do know how it feels to want to FEEL better about yourself, and I think your plan will be fabulous! It's also great that you have Keith who is also making changes to his diet and lifestyle...(Go P90X!) I'm in it with you sister! Then we can go on a fabulous shopping trip! You've already gotten off to a great start! I love you! Muah!

Carrie said...

Vanya, I don't know if you realized, but I still read your blog regularly. You do have more than one reader. :)

I wish you luck in your weight loss. I'm in the same boat. {hug}

email me sometime
hill061379@gmail.